You may have noticed a new menu option at the top of the page. Bridges. Before we can sprinkle the magic stardust over our adorable little grands, we must first cross a bridge. Which bridge might I be referring to? The one that holds the keys of access to the grandchildren. Your adult child. The only way to a strong magical bond with your grandchild is by having a working relationship with your child. I know we just jumped in at the deep end for some of you because many of these adult relationships are sticky at best. But trust me, this is where you have to start. That’s why a whole section of this blog will be devoted to improving the adult child-parent relationship. Bridges.
Distance not only makes grand parenting difficult, it can also wreak havoc on the natural development of our relationship with our children. When we don’t visibly see the day to day maturing of our children, all too often we react to them as if they were the same developmental age they were when they last lived in our homes. Unwittingly we still treat them like kids. And of course as the very real humans they are, they often respond with the defensive comebacks of their adolescence.
It is up to us to stop this cycle. Acknowledge the man or woman your child has become. Be proud of who they are as a person now. Tell them you are proud of their choices. Love their partner. This is often all it takes to have that bridge lowered. And really isn’t validation what we all want.
Of course there are far deeper estrangements between parent and child besides acknowledging adulthood. Hopefully we will address some of those issues and help heal the wounds on the Menu option Bridges!