I have hesitated about writing this blog post. A few women who are very dear to me have indeed been the victims of sexual or physical abuse by men. Those men were indeed toxic by all standards, and each and everyone should be held accountable for his actions.
But I am also the mother of sons who are about as toxic as water on a hot day. I feel I need to speak out against the idea that all men are toxic or are culpable in the toxicity of other males. Demonizing an entire gender is exactly what the original suffragettes were fighting against.
For almost 40 years I have been married to the kindest and gentlest of men. My father was a gentle giant as was his brother. My own brother is one of the best humans I know. Uncles, cousins, nephews, grand-nephews, friends. Each one a human being that is honest, kind, compassionate, strong, loving, trustworthy, and capable.
Every one of us has the capacity to engage in toxic behavior because we are human. Most of us, male and female strive against those base desires. The angels among us do a better job than most. But make no mistake, male and female fail. Most of the scars I carry are from females…starting with my mom and continuing with the many so called friends over my lifetime. You know what I’m talking about.
Let’s quit pointing the fingers at males. Let’s start looking in the mirror and determine whether our own behavior is that of an angel or demon. We can only improve the world around us by starting with ourselves.
“You would better educate ten women into the practice of liberal principles than to organize a thousand on a platform of intolerance and bigotry.” Susan B. Anthony